Life is a Eunuch

Hoes, we got a theory for y'all. Life ain'tno bitch. No no. She is a very well formed eunuch. She got the dick, she got no balls. Ever heard the saying, life fucked you over? How do you think that's possible if the bitch has a vagina?!

THEORY:

We put our highly enlightened (and one slightly inebriated) minds together, and decided that it is not possible to fuck without a dick. Now everyone will agree, that life, for good or bad, is hot, coz everyone wants to get with life. I ain't met nobody who wants to die before they're forty. Everyone bitches about life being a bitch, sure. But no one realizes that that bitch got a cock. Why do you think women have two holes? Or why do you think even men have holes?! Because life can buttfuck us, homies. It ain't for any excretionary purposes.

Now see. When life gets all dressed up, she's so damn fucken hot. You really want to get with her. You so want her. But then when she takes that little skirt off, you see the real deal, and it ain't pretty, my friend.

Instead of pubic hair, she's got multiple cocks. To fuck multiple people over. When she says bend, oh boy, do we bend.

This is not emo. We're VERY happy while writing this. We just thought all you people out there should change the proverb from 'life is a bitch' to 'life is a eunuch'.

Please, don't be offended. For those of us who HAVE been fucked, y'all will know EXACTLY what I'm talking about, and how LONG that dick is. And for those of you who don't, dontcha worry. Life's a whore. She wants to get with all of us.