He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!

Shaitan

I had thought Indian cinema was really going places with movies like Ishqiya and Dev D, but those pale in comparison to this. Anurag Kashyap may well be the Quentin Tarantino of Bollywood. Mind you, he's not Tarantino, but he's the torch bearer which is taking the industry forward. This one is WAY ahead of its time.

Immense attention is given to detail, the soundtrack was something I instantly downloaded, and each scene - EACH friggin scene - is so visually appealing. Never has a Hindi movie come so close to portraying today's youth so accurately and so shamelessly. The first part which shows the habits and lifestyle of the five youngsters living in Mumbai, each scene of that was something I could relate to. It dishes out the dirt that lingers among a particular portion of twenty-somethings living in India's metropolises today and their deviations from the straight path of life they are taught to keep on. And the camera work and stylistic concepts can truly be said to be art.

But it really doesn't matter what I say, does it? You WILL go watch it. =P

What I'm Actually Doing at Law School

1. 127 Hours: I'd been putting off watching it because the thought of watching one guy on camera for one and a half hours, albeit a guy stuck between 2 cliffs with his hand lodged behind a giant rock, struck me as having the possibility of being highly boring. I couldn't have been more wrong. Riveting movie. WATCH IT.

2. Black Swan: Pure genius. Darren Aronofsky shows his brilliance once again. Had it been up to me, I would easily have given this Best Picture Oscar. DO NOT MISS IT, unless you have a weak mind. There were times when I actually physically flinched.

3. True Grit: Slightly boring in parts but still worth a watch. Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon and Jeff Bridges shine in their performances.

4. The Social Network: Fast-paced and completely engrossing movie, simply excellent soundtrack and brilliant acting.

5. The King's Speech: Slow, which might be mistaken as boring for some. But period dramas require a slow pace. Colin Firth truly deserves Best Actor. Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham Carter should have gotten Best Supporting, if you ask me. Excellent movie.

5. The Kids Are Alright: Good movie. Watch it if you can get your hands on it. Excellent performance by Annette Bening.

6. The Fighter: Excellent. Melissa Leo and Christian Bale shine. Mark Wahlberg in his element.

7. Happythankyoumoreplease: Josh Radnor's directorial and acting debut. Not bad.

8. Hot Fuzz: Lots of guns. Plus guys with English accents. What more could I ask for?

9. Ishqiya: Excellent. If Indian cinema takes a cue from this movie and follows its direction, I would be a much happier person.

10. Once: Little known movie. Irish man, Czech woman. Please try to get a hold of it and watch it. And once you're done, download the soundtrack.

11. Pineapple Express: Laughed out loud countless number of times in this movie. Typical Seth Rogen-James Franco flick. Watch it.

12. Rec: Spanish horror film. Do not make the same mistake I did and watch it alone at night.

13. Stranger than Fiction: Saw it recently for the second time. Obscure Emma Thomas-Will Ferell movie. Also stars Dustin Hoffman and Queen Latifah. PLEASE watch it. Excellent plotline, amazing execution.

14. The Butterfly Effect: Nice idea but I didn't think they carried it out as well as they could have. Watch it though, if only for the pop culture value.

Movies

1. Bride Wars

Cast: Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Candice Bergen
Rating: 2/5

In my defense, I was really bored. A week of vacation, followed by the announcement that our first terms had been merged with the second terms, left me no incentive whatsoever to study. In any case, I somehow find it impossible to study at home. Now I know what the hostelers at school kept talking about.
So even though I knew Imma get ultra-fucked in my second terms because now they have double the marks and double the course, which means a devastatingly vast one, I couldn't find it in myself to pick up a book out of the huge pile I had brought home with the intention and resolve of studying from, and open it, let alone read a few lines of it.

But I digress. The point is, I knew this movie was bound to be an archetypal chick flick, which is one genre of movie I don't like very much. But I figured it would provide some time-pass entertainment at the very least. Besides, both the main protagonists (Hudson and Hathaway) are known to be decent actors.

I couldn't have been farther from the truth.

2. Secretary

Cast: James Spader, Maggie Gyllenaal
Rating: 4/5

This movie follows the story of a mentally disturbed young woman who has just recently been released from a mental hospital but continues to suffer from an extreme case of masochism, which manifests itself in the form of self-injury. She is soon employed as the secretary of an attorney, who is a ruthless workaholic, but also has his own problems of sadism. He is sexually aroused by her submission, as it enables him to be the dominant personality in their complicated relationship.

The good thing about this movie is that it showcases a completely new approach to the subject of sadomasochism. It is neither trying to be overtly humorous (case in point: I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry, which approached the slightly tricky subject of homosexuality with eyeglasses tainted with crass and vulgar humour. Not that there's anything wrong with that), nor overtly preachy. It makes a rather bold statement, but in the subtlest of ways. And the acting on both the main characters' parts is par excellence, especially Gyllenhaal's. This was a major breakthrough for her as an actress, and she has done a good job of proving herself and her skills to the Hollywood community at large.

Random Shit

Finally saw Inception a coupla weeks back. Fucking awesome. Totally deserves #3 ranking on the IMDb Top 250.

I also recently had the chance to read Haroun and the Sea of Stories (Salman Rushdie) (As you can see, I'm not concerned about my acads at all. And this after I've "promised" both my parents and the VC good results. In rather concrete terms). I liked it. Quite a bit.

Of cinematic mediocrity

A coupla weeks back, I decided to go for a movie with a bunch of friends from college. Initially there was only me and my roommate. But we figured we could get some more people to come along. The final list came to something like 14 people.
We had initially planned to watch Despicable Me. Or even Dinner for Schmucks. And I had to go home after, so I was carrying my laptop. Big mistake, in retrospect.

Once we stepped off the metro at the Janak Puri West metro station (this is where the nearest cinema hall to our college, Satyam Janak Puri, is located), half the people stopped to try out chuski (most of them being Southerners, chuski generated rather a lot of interest in them), half wanted to go ahead for the movie as soon as possible, and another half went to the ATM to get money. Oh wait...that doesn't add up. Aah well.

To compound everything, it started pouring. I could barely make out the hall in the distance. We finally reached it, after running through the rain and getting completely drenched, and tried to duck under the awning. But being a Saturday afternoon, the theatre was so crowded with people trying to get tickets we could barely even do that.

It turned out that half the Hollywood movies currently in theatres weren't even playing there. And the ones that were did not have any afternoon shows. I was even willing to watch "Grown Ups." Going by its Tomatometer rating (10%), it was bound to be crap. But at least we could get a few laughs out of it. Or The Expendables (39%), simply for the action sequences. But thanks to the SUCKY hall and its SUCKIER schedule, we had to settle for Bollywood. There was a show for Aisha but most of the people with us had already seen that last weekend. So we settled for......Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai.

One of us had already seen it. She wanted to kill herself. And after the movie, so did I.

Then there was the laptop fiasco. They suggested leaving it with the proprietors, for want of a better word, of the adjacent "Juice Shop." You know, one of those shady stalls that for some reason can be found all over Delhi, where the fat guy sitting out front orders the stick-thin guy who actually does all the work to grab a coupla fruits, stick them in a grinder and make the juice right in front of you, while all he does is take the money and if you're lucky, give you your change back, with a look that plainly berates you, to say the least, for having the balls to demand this complex service of them while they would be completely satisfied sitting around in their shop doing nothing all day. They must have a training school for that look. And I was supposed to leave my precious laptop with them. Yeah, right.

Finally one of the senior clerks relented and lemme put it in his office, but not without making me turn it on and checking if there was any weird stuff in there. Though why he did that beats me, it's not like I was taking it inside the hall. Finally he told me, albeit begrudgingly, "Theek hai madam, isse main apne office mein rakh loonga (Fine ma'am, I'll put it in my office)." I was too grumpy and soaking wet to be grateful.

As regards the movie itself, I have never seen so much average-ness in a movie before. Plot: average. Check. Acting: average. Check. Directing: average. Check. Music: average. Check.

Most traumatic experience I've had in a long time. Do me a favor. Don't go watch it. Even if you're bored to death.

Up

Voices: Christopher Plummer, Ed Asner.

Cute, touching and exceptionally wonderful.
Watch it if you haven't already.

P.S.: Officially my first short post. Yay!

Before, after and a movie

So this is the before (top) and after (bottom). I'm sorry about the camera in the bottom photo. I don't trust anyone except myself to photograph me. Scratch that. I don't trust anyone except myself to photograph me WELL. And the only way is a mirror.

I thought I'd do them together to try and figure out how much of a difference 350 bucks made. And I realise that despite all my cribbing (see previous post), it's not all that bad.

I also managed to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail yesterday. I'd wanted to watch this movie for a long time. It's no. 68 on the IMDb Top 250, with a score of 8.5/10. Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 94%. But I wasn't too sure if I should. I thought it would have a lot of pop culture references, which is fine by me, if the movie is recent. This one, however, is a 1975 release. So I didn't think I would understand most of those references.

I shouldn't have worried. Its humor does not derive from contemporary people/phenomena, but is more universal in its flavor, and I'm sure will appeal to anyone. It is definitely a great movie, I would have given it a 5/5.

Now for the movie itself. It is loosely based on King Arthur's search for the Holy Grail, set in medieval (?) England. It was written, directed and pretty much wholely executed by the Monty Python group. For anyone who is not familiar with what exactly Monty Python is, it was a renowned British sketch comedy group, consisting of stalwarts like John Cleese (of Fawlty Towers fame) and Terry Gilliam. They are perfect examples of the stereotypical British comedy, like BlackAdder, the old sitcom starring the likes of Rowan Atkinson (or Mr. Bean, as most people here in India know him) and Stephen Fry. Another good and very recent John Cleese movie is Rat Race. I watched it until my sides split from laughing too hard. It's what Bollywood calls a multistarrer: Seth Green, Cuba Gooding Jr., Rowan Atkinson, Breckin Meyer, Amy Smart, Whoopi Goldberg, the guy who plays Newman in Seinfeld, and loads more I can't remember.

But I digress (You've prolly realised by now that I'm very easily distracted, so my blog posts will always tread a rather circuitous path). Coming back to Monty Python and the Holy Grail, its tagline goes, "And now! At Last! Another film completely different from some of the other films which aren't quite the same as this one is."

Excerpts:
Minstrels: Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
Sir Robin: That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads.

Frenchman guarding the castle: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ar-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-iggits!
Sir Galahad: What a strange person.
King Arthur: Now, look here, my good man-
Frenchman: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

I would recommend it to anybody who has a bit of time on their hands. And now I shall take your leave. Until we meet again.