Change

About a couple of months back, a close friend told me I had changed a lot. He told me I used to be very different when I had just entered law school, which was a little over 2 years ago. It got me thinking.
Basically, I think the gist of what he was trying to get at was that I used to be much more uninhibited, more unstructured, more fearless. Care less. Do whatever the fuck I wanted. And now it's all about memo submissions, good grades and good placements. Law school's most vulnerable victims, unfortunately, turn out to be those who develop an inherent fear of project deadlines (and the like, you know what I mean) and are constantly looking for things to do, to put it in a very simplistic manner, to increase their value in terms of potential recruitment. Sad, but true. Life becomes a dreary path towards one sole aim, the attainment of what our (let's face it) still-regressive Indian society calls a 'stable job and a settled life'.
Yes, maybe I'm exaggerating. But I have a feeling he's right about me. I was watching a typical teenage music video the other day and it struck me that I think I've forgotten how to have fun entirely.
On the other hand, there's always the nagging fear that if I let myself loose too much I'll never get a decent lifestyle after college. I suppose this kind of mentality is exactly what he was hinting at. And the worst part is, I don't think most law school kids would have the balls to admit it, but this is exactly what law school makes of you. Balancing a life and good academics isn't easy.
I must add having fun to my to-do list.

In other news, it is Benedict Cumberbatch's birthday today. He is so lovely he makes me weak in the knees.

I also went to Nainital on holiday for about 3-4 days. Really nice place. We went to the nearby lakes and stuff too. There was this one particular one which I liked way more than the others. It was huge and nice and clean, mostly because barely any people lived nearby. I think if I could have just one perfect day in my life, it would be to go and find a place to sit on the banks of something like that and spend the whole day there with a good book and some music, all alone. That, for me, would be the definition of absolute contentment. If I could have that, it doesn't matter whether I'm in Nainital or Switzerland.
I also developed the habit of sitting on a little rocky ledge right outside my hotel (which was at a height from the main city) for a short while with my iPod every night after dinner. The weather was absolutely brilliant and the ledge offered a nice view of the Nainital lake. I love the way water turns black in the night. I remember walking along Havelock beach at night when I had gone to Goa. It was pitch dark. You could see the black water only for a short distance in front of you, and then, nothingness.
I have also realized that the perfect music for places like these is the In Bruges soundtrack.
All in all, a brilliant trip.

I haven't done any other traveling this summer so I badly needed this. Travel is something I don't think I could live without. I think I will always love it more than I could possibly ever love any human being, with the exception of my parents.
I am currently reading The Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams. People like him give me an immense inferiority complex. I always feel so small and unaccomplished-in-life in front of his comic genius. A long time ago, I had read someone's interview where they were asked that if they could choose one era or time other than the present to be reborn in, which would they choose. I remember thinking then that if I ever grow up to be rich and famous (*snort*...fat chance), and someone interviewing me asked me the same question, I would have answered the time of P.G. Wodehouse without even thinking about it. For one thing, he existed. For the other, it really seems like a brilliant time period to be living in. And people like Adams and Wodehouse, well, reading them is simply...orgasmic.

I'm also almost done with Season 2 of Game of Thrones. It is an E-P-I-C series. And I have officially fallen in love with Tyrion Lannister.

2 of my friends are mucking about in Europe and I'm INSANELY jealous. I know I've seen most of the continent before and it's only their first time, but it almost physically hurts, the thought of them being there and me being stuck here. I would give an arm and a leg to travel to Europe with friends. Hopefully someday I won't have to.
I'm going to stop ranting now. I haven't written so much without editing since...ever, possibly. Now I will dive back into the world of Douglas Adams to assuage my pain. And it will be awesome.

How to Make Your Third Semester in Law School Highly Eventful

1. Get into trouble with the authorities 3 days into college because a friend exhibits very clearly drunk behavior on campus. Essential Elements: Show Cause Notice, submission of a written explanation to the Registrar, and many nail biting and anxious moments wondering whether you will be subjected to a full fledged Proctorial hearing, as cool and akin to Harry Potter's hearing before the full Wizengamot in the 5th book it may sound.

2. Get elected into the MCC.
3. Help organize your first moot ever, which turns out to be rigged by the head organizers in a disgusting attempt to show Indo-Pak friendship. (Also, hope you don't get into trouble for blogging about it.)

4. Help organize a big level international moot, which thankfully goes well.
5. MAJORLY screw up your end sem exams which account for FIFTY per cent of your grade, on account of previous point.

6. Try weed for the first time.
7. Smoke up with people you met a couple of days before.
8. Participate in a moot with awesome people. Go to semi finals and win Best Researcher.
9. Reveal dirty truths about your past to your closest friends.
10. Taxi.
11. Break hearts. (S, I'm sure you'll appreciate this).
12. Get unabashedly hit on by someone you just met.
13. Show up drunk to a judge's doorstep to pick them up.
14. Accuse above of sinful activities while in a state of inebriation.
15. Show up drunk to an interview for a big level internship.
16. Land above anyway.
17. Discover how awesome it is to roam around campus in the dead of night and in the freezing cold.
18. "Work" outside of the hostel until 4 am.
19. Don't sleep properly for 2-3 weeks at a stretch, because you're JUST that busy.
20. Live.

That Time of the Year Again

Yep. I think the time has come to give all my readers a virtual introduction to my whimsical, eccentric and simply rather weird teachers for this semester. It's been a while since the semester began, but in lieu of anything else to write about, here goes.

1. Contract

I honestly don't know how to describe this dude. I used to absolutely loathe him, seeing as how he's so old and teaches in a completely soporific manner, not to mention that he's rather sharp and cutting, and also slightly intimidating. But I slowly realized there's more to him. He's actually rather chilled out. Up till last year he used to be our Proctor, and man, what I wouldn't do for him to remain in that position (The semester began rather ominously with me getting into major trouble with the college authorities for...certain events involving alcohol, and for some reason the situation just escalated completely out of hand. That's a story for another time. All I'm saying is, I have a strong suspicion it wouldn't have had he remained Proctor.) He teaches well if you can manage to listen. However, he is rather sexist and has some sort of irrational fear of lesbians which acts up at the slightest female-female touching/hugging he sees. Also, you can frequently hear him discussing in class things like how marriage should not hamper one's sex life, how he went out to buy his girlfriend lingerie but then she got skin cooties (he was trying to explain the Sale of Goods Act), what is love, and once he even mentioned 'pole models'. So you see what I mean when I say he's an old, chilled out dude.

2. Fam Law

She speaks very possibly the worst English I've ever heard in my life. I think the part of her brain that is supposed to regulate grammar is either missing or has suffered some major trauma in the past. One of my close friends says I'm always very agitated in her class, and I'm quite sure this is the reason. She also gets irrationally angry from time to time. Apart from the fact that I can barely tolerate listening to her ruining the English language, her subject itself is pretty amusing. It derives mainly from religion, hence the giggles.

3. CrPC

By far the most intriguing, amusing and slightly disturbing character of this year's faculty. Looks EXACTLY like a rapist, especially with his glasses off. Also has a tendency to laugh heartily while talking about things like rape, murder or other gruesome things (teaches criminal procedure). It's hard to know what to do but laugh with him. Has a reputation for showing unnatural interest in certain girls if they catch his attention a little more than normal, if you know what I mean. Has a great aversion to giving marks and likes failing people. Rather creepy to look at. In fact, and I think this is an accurate and succinct description, one of my friends said that his face belongs on a poster captioned 'wanted for rape.'

4. Eco

Refer Chief Warden bit (though she is no longer our Chief Warden) here. Actively involved in a live-in relationship with Mr. Contract above. Ironic much?

5. Socio

I like her, frankly. She's one of our wardens and though in first year (refer above link) I didn't particularly like her, she's definitely gained a lot of respect since the whole incident with alcohol happened at the beginning of the semester. She was on our side throughout and I'm pretty sure had we just told her the truth, the incident would never have even been heard of by any higher authorities. What she was most regretful about was the fact that we didn't just come straight out with the truth because she certainly feels a primary duty towards taking care of us. But again, that's a story for another post. Decent teacher. Knows all our names and fun to interact with in class, though just the right amount.

That's about it. Weird lot, don'tcha think? =P

On why I love swine flu

4 people on our campus tested positive for swine flu. May they get well soon.

Our college declared a week's holiday thanks to the scare. And specifically directed the students to "vacate the hostels as soon as possible." The dates for the exams that were to be held this week are yet to be revised and notified.

I have never adored a disease so completely and with all my heart.

Too excited to think of a title for this one

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Me soo haeppppppppppy!!!

Nallud Part 2

There's a couple more quirky faculty members I'd forgotten to write about in the last post. I shall do that here.

English teacher: Calls the girls of the class "May-dum." Has no idea how to control the class. Insists we do not clap or bang our desks after a horrendous experience with the aforementioned activities on our first day. Does not know how to handle excessive participation and involvement in plays. Has no idea what to assign as research papers to us and asks US to come up with ideas instead. Insists we make PowerPoint presentations on pointless topics like what is an adjective and where to use a hyphen instead of a dash.

HLCD Teacher (For those of you not in the know (which I guess would be all of you), HLCD is History of Legal and Constitutional Development): For some reason, is known as Chintu among the students. Is much like the Torts teacher. Is also quite possibly the most boring and soporific person I have ever had the misfortune to meet in my life.

Also, the VC in his interview had asked us to sign on a particular target percentage for the first semester. And warned us that if we did not achieve it, he would be setting the bar even higher for the next semester and "upping the ante," so to speak. I made the mistake of quoting an impossibly high percentage. And here I am blogging away to glory while the first terms are only a week away.

One thing I'm really happy about is my roommate. She shall hereby be referred to as S (for that is the letter her name begins with (obviously)). She has great taste in music, movies, books and pretty much everything else that really matters. Wodehouse fan, ardent admirer of almost all Star World shows, and appreciator of good cinema. The other day she wanted to kill me for not having watched Iron Man. =D

To top it all off, she's responsible. She's got her priorities right. She studies, but not too much (unlike me, who has neglected to even TOUCH a book since college started, unless it's fiction), remembers to clean the room once in a while, and yet finds time to read a lot of fanfiction and watch a movie when she feels like it. I need someone like that. I shudder to think what would have happened had I had a roommate even remotely like me. That is, crazy and irresponsible, and without an iota of room-sense, if you know what I mean. We would prolly have had filthy vermin crawling all over our beds.

Then there's I. She lives across the hall from me, with N. But I, S and me hang out together most of the time. There's nothing extraordinary about I. She's just a loud, fun and big-hearted girl. But what I love most is irritating her with dirty jokes and gross talk. She's not used to such things, somehow. She used to get completely scandalized, but I think I'm growing on her. Now she can even handle it if I drop an F-bomb every 20 seconds.

So since I'm already exceeding the word limit for normal-sized blog posts, I shall stop here. Now that I have a laptop, hopefully it'll be configured soon and I'll be able to post more often. Unless I decide to actually study for the first terms.

But that's not likely at all.

Nallud

That's the name of my college by the way. NLUD. I got sick of calling it that, letter by letter. It's so long and drawn out.
Not that anyone I know calls it Nallud. That's just my own creation.

So in this post I'll be telling you a little about Nallud.
1. VC: Tends to talk sense but also tends to ramble on a bit. During the Orientation, his speech lasted for about an hour and a half. And the few classes he's taken, he's spent the whole 45 minutes trying to explain a concept for which a mere quarter of an hour would have sufficed. So yeah, just a tad verbose.

2. Chief Warden: Is also a teacher of economics by profession. But all she knows to talk about is how we have imbibed all the evil tendencies of Western culture and forgotten our own pure, holier-than-thou "Indian tradition." Even in her economics class, according to what the seniors tell us. Has an extreme aversion to ANY kind of interaction between the freshers and their seniors, which she calls ragging. Insists we call our seniors bhaiyyas and didis. Which pretty much rules out any possibilities of a junior and senior dating. Not that that's happened. Yet.

3. Assistant Warden for the girls hostel: Goes by the motto "I shall only smile in the presence of those members of society who have a penis." Is female. Of course.

4. Boys Hostel wardens: Incapable of facial expressions and voice modulation.

5. Torts teacher: Speaks bullshit just to check if anyone's listening. Which they aren't. Her sentences aren't gramatically correct by a long shot, let alone being correct on points of law. Always ends her class by assigning homework because she knows the students' ears will perk up at this and enjoys the satisfaction of people listening to her even if it is only for a few seconds everyday. Teacher whose class it is easiest to maaro-fy proxy in because she goes by roll number and never looks up from the attendance sheet.

And that's the faculty. The eccentric (for want of a better word) ones, at least.

PD

It was to be at 6. When we arrived, they told us they would debate legalising prostitution. What followed was 2 hours of a fucking awesome debate, with mudslinging, personal attacks and basically all the elements a proper parliamentary debate should avoid at all costs. Who wouldn't have been attracted?!

One of the thematic clashes was "Masturbation and Toys versus Real Sex." There was also a lot of talk of the fugliest people easily being able to get some without too much effort. There were all sorts of perverted hand motions and expressions like "churning the butter" followed by "you know what I mean, right?" Like I said, a mindblowing-ly awesome debate. Hackneyed expression, yes. But there really is no other way to describe it.

So far we've debated things like "This House believes that incest is a fun game for the family" and "This House believes bestiality should be legalised." Unfortunately the Proposition lost for both of these. There was even "This House believes that Barbie should be a porn star." But the other two were too good to give up for this one.

The first time I went, I adjudicated. I wasn't too bad. The next day I spoke. It was addictive. I found myself wondering how the fuck I had sat there the previous day and listened to all the shit that the speakers came out with without entering the debate myself and telling them they were completely fucking it up and what they should have been saying instead. We won that day.
In case you were wondering, we were Opposition on "This House believes that extremist parties should be banned from contesting elections."

Unfortunately the next three I lost. I opped on "soldiers should be able to sue the government for negligence," propped on incest and debated one other motion I've now forgotten. Losing three consecutive debated has discouraged me a little. I have a major problem with matter and coming up with proper constructives and elaborating on them on the spot.

I've also decided never to be the prime minister. The one time I tried my speech lasted for a measly three minutes, instead of the required six minutes at least. Seven is even better. The problem is again the lack of sufficient matter. At least if you go later, you have stuff to rebut and that can take up half your time. But as the first speaker on the floor, I failed miserably.
I'd prolly be best as Deputy. Do a little bit of both, you see, rebuttals and constructives. I've always found I fit best somewhere in the middle. And not just in debates.

I can't be Whip either because the whip is supposed to completely demolish the other side's case and I can't be that rude or aggressive to people in a debate. In real life, yes. Face to face, totally. But in front of a lot of other people including a panel of adjudicators judging me, nope. Not really my forte.

Even though I've lost three consecutively and have problems with my content, PD'ing is a lot of fun. I don't see myself quitting anytime soon. I can only hope I get better with time. Until then, every weekday at 6 in the evening, I shall come up to the podium, try not to be intimidated by the seniors adjudicating me and debating with me, and do my best to convince them of whatever motion I happen to be proposing or opposing. More often than not, I have no fucking idea about the motion and my mouth becomes an independently functioning unit spewing out words that somehow manage to form coherent sentences when strung together. So the best I can do is bullshit my way into the adjudicator's pants. After all, that's what everything in life boils down to, right? Trying to bullshit your way into everyone else's pants.

Figuratively, of course.

Gaaaaaaaaaah!

Too much to say. Too less time.

First off, I owe an apology to my readers. I haven't been posting for two weeks. The situation is something like this. The IT guy at my university (read fucked-up-bastard-who-knows-shit-about-IT) couldn't configure my laptop to the NLUD Wi-Fi network. Not only that, but he's fucked up my laptop so that the Wi-Fi at MY place doesn't work either. And then he has the balls to say, "May-dum, isko toh format karwaana padega. Isme aapka koi important software toh nahin hai naa(May-dum, this will have to be formatted. Is there any important software in here) ?"
So basically, my laptop cannot possibly work at my university. Which means I'll have to wait until Mom comes back from her trip, for which there is a month left, take HER laptop, and get THAT configured, which'll take another week. And hope to GOD he doesn't fuck that up as well.
I'm INFURIATED. But you prolly already know that by now, thanks to all the upper-case-ing.

Oh and yeah, since my laptop basically counts for shit now, as far as the internet is concerned, I'm doing this on my Dad's laptop. And he's not even supposed to know I HAVE a blog. So much for privacy.
This also means that the most I can do is blog once a week, if that. I didn't even feel like blogging last weekend, but more about that later. I go to the computer lab everyday, lest my email inbox starts to look like it's contracted jaundice (The "new email" color for Hotmail is yellow). So I comment on a few blogs from there. And keep reading the newest QC comics to retain a smidgenny modicum of my former sanity. Or rather, lesser degree of insanity. But working up the courage to actually post something on mine is too much to ask of my already addled brain. Why is my brain already addled? More about that later.

So I realise I'm already exceeding the word limit for a normal post, and I've been getting requests from left, right and center to keep my posts short lest my readers lose interest halfway through. I was rather happy to hear this in fact, since I had always thought my readers lose interest only a quarter of the way through. But my point is, I have a lot to tell you about college and all the exciting new stuff, but it shall have to wait for next week.

And I tried replying to all your comments on the last post, but the comment that came out was WAY too long to be called a comment. So I shall do it here. However weird and unheard of it may be.

@Nyx and Espera: Thou dost grossly overestimate hostel life. I mean, seriously, just because it's like a party in my room every night...ok fine, point taken.
And yeah, that "pretending-to-be-a-second-year" thing actually happened. This guy has to repeat a few weeks of first year because he was short on attendance, but since all the second years know him, he was allowed to aid and abet the ragging. Ok, I guess that wasn't really pretending. But it's pretty much the same thing.

@Midnight Sun: Because it's INDIA.
And yes. Yes you will. Die, that is. Initially I didn't think it was that bad. But now I actually wait for the tea break every morning to brush my hair just so I can do it in the air conditioned academic block. As a result of which, for the first 3 classes of the day, I look like I've stuck black wires to teh top of my head. In a hurry. And this is August we're talking about. Fucking AUGUST.

@Sahil: The cell phone network within our rooms sucks. I have to hang my torso out of the second floor window to text any of my friends. Feel better?

@Sam: Thanks!
@Disguise: Are you still in school?
And also, good for you, man. But promise me, whatever you do, go somewhere with an air conditioned hostel. Unless you LIKE getting up at ungodly hours in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and having to wash your hair every other day because it stinks of sweat. But I'm guessing you don't.

So there. I bet most of my readers would have fallen asleep somewhere in the middle. I wish I could nudge you awake. But even I, sadist to teh core, would never want to inflict the torture of reading all that on anyone.
And if you haven't fallen asleep, well, all I can say is that you have a high threshold of crap-taking.
Until next week.

Ze plot, she thickens.

We had an interview with the Vice-Chancellor of NLUD yesterday.
'Twas weird.

For some reason, they've included six books on "self-improvement" in the bag of things they gave us, all written by some Swami who has a long name I've forgotten but I remember it starts with a P. They're all as thin as a friggin TV Guide and as long as a pocket dictionary. And I really hope we aren't expected to read them. They're full of words like Thou and Thine and Shalt. You know, stuff that sounds cool if used in a couple of sentences at most.

We were also asked to fill in a bunch of forms "promising" that we wouldn't rag anyone. Which is again something I don't get, because I mean, if anybody is to be ragged, it'd be us.
Our college also has an anti-ragging squad, which is good. But they've included two students from each batch, a girl and a guy, on it. Even OUR batch. AND the batch above us. Which is bad.

There's a thick book detailing the digital library and how to exactly use it. And then the prospectus, the first 25 pages of which are filled with details of how stringently rules are applied on campus, like the 6 pm campus curfew, or the 9 pm hostel curfew. And the last page has a few photos titled "Campus Life" which shows students smiling and playing guitar and doing normal things. Perhaps they hoped that the horror of first 25 pages could be undone with a single page full of pictures of mildly joyous kids who have obviously been forced to do "extra-curricular activities" expressly for the purpose of this page of the brochure and have ended up looking like not much more than a bunch of crazed morons.

We were asked to fill in the forms in the auditorium, where a bunch of teachers pretty much grabbed our originals and vowed never to give them back.
Then we were allotted rooms and roommates. The rooms are twin seaters, and they're not too bad in terms of size. There's sufficient bathrooms too. All in all, apart from the hostel not being air-conditioned, which is something you can't really expect in India, I have no complaints.

Our campus is pretty huge, and completely Wi-Fi enabled. The academic block is air-conditioned. The hostels also have gyms and a common room with a television.
There's a lot more to tell, but unfortunately my cousin has now switched on the television and is watching some crappy Bollywood song at maximum volume, which is making it hard to concentrate and not type out, "Tere naina, tere naina, tere naina re."
So the rest shall have to wait. Until the next time.

P.S.: I may not be posting for a long time now. Next week, college starts and there is also a wedding in the family. So I'll be attending classes all morning and ceremonies in the evening. My apologies for depriving you of your weekly"Oh-My-God-her-life-is-crappier-than-mine-I-feel-so-much-better" kick.

Me, myself and I

This post is solely meant to introduce you, the reader, to me, the writer. Now I know that currently, the people reading my blog are people who actually know me, and hence know already all I am about to say. To them, I would say, get yourself something to munch on before you continue. Or perhaps even better, don't continue at all.

But a girl can hope. Someday I hope to bring in a much wider readership, consisting in part, of people who might not know me that well. It is with such motives in consideration that I introduce myself to you, albeit a little late (It is my third post, after all. Normally, people get over with this sort of thing by the first one itself. But then, such are the ways of yours truly).

I will soon be heading off to law school. More specifically, National Law University, Delhi. The last couple of sentences alone implicate how completely my life will be screwed over within the space of the next five years. Moreover, I would hate for anyone to draw the logical conclusion here and suggest that since I got through the entrance test for NLUD, I am intelligent. Let me make it absolutely clear. I am not. I am merely very VERY lucky. I had been pursuing Med School for the past two years, and had not put in any preparation whatsoever for the law entrances. Which makes it clear to my readers that indeed, all I did was get lucky the day of the NLUD entrance.

As you could have already sensed, I do not have much of a social life either. As if getting screwed academically wasn't enough. And I am sure that with three ten-page papers being handed to us every week once I enter law school, my situation can only deteriorate.

In a nutshell then, my life is pretty boring. And likely to get even more so in the coming days. So if I have not given you reason enough to discontinue reading this blog by cribbing about my life so incessantly within the previous few paragraphs, I would ask you now to save yourself from getting an overdose of my rather crappy life. Run, my friends, run. Arms a-flailing.

P.S.: I also have a very dark sense of humor. As you might have noticed.